Together
We were married in August 2001 in American Fork, Utah. Not long
after we were married, we learned that the heart condition Megan was
born with could cause pregnancy to be dangerous for her. We
immediately decided to pursue adoption since we were very much
looking forward to becoming parents. Since adoption was already
present in our extended family, we were very comfortable with
pursuing it right away. However, we found that most adoption
agencies require that a couple be married a minimum of two years
before beginning the application process. So we waited... and we
lived, worked, and went to school in Provo, Utah for the next 2
years. In July 2003, we were anxious to make an appointment with
our adoption agency to begin filling out the paperwork prior to our
2nd anniversary. However, the week before the appointment, Megan's
cardiologist sent her for a consultation with a cardiac surgeon.
The surgeon said surgery was needed as soon as possible. We were
disappointed that we had to delay the beginning of our adoption
journey, but wanted to take care of Megan's heart so that she would
be able to be a full-time mother in good health when the time came.
On December 26, 2003, Megan had open-heart surgery and received a
mechanical heart valve to help her heart function reach it's maximum
capacity. Her surgeon and cardiologists have since told us that she
will enjoy a normal, healthy life, but that because of the birth
defects caused by required medications, she should not attempt to
get pregnant. As soon as Megan was healthy and strong again, we
rescheduled our meeting at the agency and finally began the adoption
application process.
Finally
We finally were approved to adopt in the Fall of 2005. We were
still waiting to be chosen when we contacted the agency in April
2006 to let them know that Shane had just graduated from BYU and had
accepted a job offer in Arizona. On our way over to the agency to
sign a release so that our file could be transferred to the Arizona
agency, our case worker learned that we had been chosen by a birth
mother. However, the case worker couldn't tell us yet, because the
birth mother wanted to get her sonogram first to find out the sex of
the baby before announcing to us. So when we got there, she
cheerfully told us we didn't need to sign anything and that she
would be in touch soon. We wanted to be excited that something
might be going on, but our probing got nothing out of her, so we
tried not to get our hopes up.
We kept busy moving over the next
week or so until late one evening in May, the week before Mothers'
Day, we got a phone call from our case worker, Katherine. Neither
of us could help from grinning, knowing that it was too late for
just an ordinary phone call. Katherine tried to be sneaky by calmly
explaining that she had some paperwork she needed us to sign. She
said she was going to e-mail it to us and that she wanted us to look
at it right away. We sat on the couch together in agony over the
next few minutes, the laptop balanced between our knees, constantly
refreshing our e-mail inbox and waiting impatiently for Katherine's
e-mail. After a quick call-back, we realized Katherine had used the
wrong e-mail address. She got the correct one and told us to call
her back after we'd read her e-mail. Just a moment later, a new
message appeared in our inbox. We were shaking! We clicked it open
and saw a scanned copy of a Mothers' Day card signed by Jesse. It
was announcing to us that we had been chosen to adopt the baby she
was carrying. It said to see the ultrasound pictures to find out
the baby's gender. We were thinking, "what ultrasound pictures???"
when another e-mail popped up from Katherine. There were multiple
scans, and we looked through them until we saw the words "It's a
Boy" printed on one of them! We could hardly believe it! We hugged
and hugged and cried and smiled. We were so happy! We nearly had
forgotten to call Katherine back, so she finally called us and we
discussed our excitement and talked a little about what would happen
next. We got excited about making a trip to Utah to meet Jesse.
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Carter
Over the next couple of months we wrote letters, exchanged gifts,
and had a wonderful face-to-face meeting where we felt a strong
connection to the sweet young woman who was to become Carter's birth
mother. Carter was born on July 28, 2006 in Orem, Utah. We did not
know he had been born until 2 days later when we received a call to
come to the hospital and meet him for the first time. We were
smitten at first sight, of course! What a bittersweet time for us
-- joy filled our hearts as we held our son in our arms for the
first time, but we were acutely aware that his birth mother was
suffering a great loss. We, along with all of our family and
friends, rejoiced at our blessing while praying for her welfare. We
still think of her every single day and are grateful when we are
able to visit with Jesse and her family. We are blessed to enjoy an
open adoption arrangement where we stay in contact through e-mail,
mail, and periodic visits.
Ruby
Ruby's adoption story is full of miracles. After Carter's first
birthday, we began the adoption certification process again. We
were anxious for Carter to be a big brother and to welcome another
child into our family. In October 2007, we were back in the
"waiting" game. Time passed, Carter celebrated another birthday,
and we continued to be hopeful without receiving any contacts from
prospective birth mothers. In December 2009, a sweet young woman
who was about five months pregnant contacted us and told us that she
had chosen to place her baby boy for adoption with our family when
he was born. She struggled with this decision for a while and
ultimately decided that adoption was not the right choice for her
son and that she would single parent, with the help of her
supportive family.
Just nine days after Carter turned three, Megan received a call from
a woman in Michigan asking if we were still interested in adopting a
child and if it was all right if she texted our number to her
daughter's friend who was in labor at the hospital at the time. Of
course Megan told her that was fine.
About ten minutes later, Megan got a call from the girl who was in
labor (we'll call her Jane - not her real name). Jane told Megan
that she was dilated to a 5 and that she had chosen us to adopt her
child. Megan asked if she had ever seen a picture of us or our
profile or anything and she said no. We pieced together later that
the Jane's friend just found our online profile and thought we would
be a good family for the baby! Megan told her a little bit about our
family, and said that we have an open adoption with our son's birth
mother. Jane said she would want this adoption to be completely
closed. Megan said we would respect her wishes but that if she
changed her mind later, we'd love for her to contact us at any
time. Megan called our case worker and explained the situation and
we were on and off the phone the rest of the night as the agency
tried to get a case worker from the Michigan office to the hospital
. We booked the first flight we could get on - early the next
morning. Late that night, the case worker in Michigan called and
told us that our baby girl had been born.
The following day, another case worker picked us up from the airport
and took us to the hospital. We were able to meet our daughter's
birth mother for just a few minutes. We told her how grateful we
were and that we'd always love, honor and respect her and asked if
there was anything she wanted the baby to know. Jane said to just
tell her that her birth mother wanted to find a good family to love
and take care of her since she could not. We promised we would take
care of her and give her the very best we could in her life. We
hugged again, and then she was gone.
The case worker took us to the nursery and pointed to our new
daughter. She had the most beautiful little face with petite,
feminine, sweet features. She looked to us like her amazing birth
mother! She was just peaceful and calm and content and pursed her
perfect, ruby red little lips in the cutest way when she stretched!
Her most prominent features right away were her cute little
up-turned nose and the cleft in her chin. We were blown away by her
perfection and were overjoyed to finally meet her!
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